Thursday, July 2, 2009

Mah-mah-mah-mah-poker-fail-mah-mah-poker fail...

This is easily my all-time favorite Lady Gaga picture (I found it on Google). Why, you ask? Because it tells you volumes upon volumes of fascinating things about her.

1. That her chest is highly flammable.
2. That police officers spontaneously strip in her presence.
3. That she doesn't think twice about eating a microphone.

Now, people are going to give me crap about ragging on her. "But she's so young! You're being unfair!" True. I just feel like I've seen this happen too many times to watch it happen again. We have a "Hot" (no pun, intended, despite the sparks) Mess on our hands waiting to happen, and unlike Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse, Miley Cyrus, etc., I actually think Gaga has some talent, which is why I hate to see her whoring out her image with pyrotecnics blasting from her tits. She should let her voice and natural aptitude for dance beats speak for themselves, rather than wowing us with her Diva-On-Overdrive schtick. Otherwise, this one's gonna burn out just like those twin cannons, which would light her hair on fire if she didn't arch her back.

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