Thursday, July 2, 2009

I Hate to Burst Your Bubble

For anyone who's still questioning her musical prowess, I want you all to notice how she's working those high keys with her right foot. Sure you can't hear them because this is a blog, but I can vouch for her. Stevie Wonder and Billy Joel are screwing you, only giving you two appendages' worth of piano, but she steps it up a notch. I swear to God that I even saw a third arm slip out of the bubbles clustered to her left hip that started wailing on a timpani.

Speaking of bubbles, let's talk about that outfit. She looks like she's being gangraped by multiple Scrubbing Bubbles ( ...Sure, they LOOK innocent), and for anyone who is offended by the term "gangrape"--you're 100% right, but I don't know a PC term for that expression. Also, I don't know of any Gaga songs with a piano in them, but then I haven't listened to the full album yet. Just sayin'.

Also, again. I want to reiterate that I have nothing malicious against Lady Gaga. It's her image that I have a beef with, and especially her lyrics. She has talent, so she doesn't need to appeal to the lowest common denominator with ridiculous outfits and misogynist lyrics. Not the "sort of" misogynistic lyrics. I'm talking about "Love Game". Here's a translated version of "Love Game" that I worked out just in case people aren't able to read through her unparalleled grasp of metaphor.

Let's have some [sex], this beat is sick.
I wanna take a ride on your [penis]

I wanna kiss you But if i do then i might miss you, Babe
It's complicated and stupid
Got my xxx squeezed by sexy cupid
Guess he wants to (have sex), wants to (have sex)
Hold me and (have sex)
Just want to (have sex) for a minute
Baby (???? ????? ????? ?????? ?????)

Let's have some (sex), this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your (penis)
Don't think too much, just bust that (penis? ass?)
I wanna take a ride on your (definitely, penis)

Let's (have sex), (have sex)
Do you want (sex), or you want fame
Or you win the game.

You get the point. Maybe this is just my take on it. Maybe the line "let's have some fun, this beat is sick--I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" is actually questioning the inherent conflict of morality in funneling financial assitance to Third World leaders who then exercise those assets against their own people and for the sole benefit of a limited ruling elite. It's really anyone's guess.

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